I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
