Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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