I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
