we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
