If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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