nut hugger
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
