my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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