I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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