I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
