I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
