He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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