So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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