I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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