Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
