imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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