Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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