No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just pee around me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
