I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
