wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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