Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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