Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
