Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
