Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
