just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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