I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
