I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
