READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
