ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
