i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
