I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
