At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
