I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
