All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so let's talk penis.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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