Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
