This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
