she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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