My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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