are you so shy because you have an std?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
