Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
