The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
