i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
