I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
