put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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