things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
