We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
