Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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