Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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