Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
