Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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