I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
