That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
